


Put an end to winter

by KLTurner



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: (dedicated to the discord squad ily), Ethnic Headcanons, Everyone is very affectionate, Fluff, Im bad at this, M/M, Modern AU, Songfic, Stenbrough, bts - spring day, but yall don't stay up too long, half-korean bill denbrough, i really really love you all, it's 1 am and im already dead, kaspbrough - mentioned, lots of tactile contact, ok peace off now!!!!!!!, oof, stan and richie are bffs, this is so self-indulgent and inaccurate, you'll see - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2019-04-07 14:32:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14083011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KLTurner/pseuds/KLTurner
Summary: Due to the family issues, Bill has to leave the States for the winter. Turns out, Stan misses him a whole fucking lot. Read all about it.





	Put an end to winter

It was a wet, snowy winter morning and Stan was feeling exasperated. He couldn’t believe he still had to go to school: it was, like, last day until Christmas. And already the second day of Hanukkah! He couldn’t hope for Richie to come and lighten up his boredom today – of course Tozier was at home, his parents never made him go when he didn’t want to. Maybe Ben or Mike would show up, but it couldn’t exactly make him feel better. Yesterday his closest friend Bill left the town and he wasn’t coming back until March, maybe even April. Stan wasn’t sure, but it sucked anyway.

Something around 2 years ago, Bill lost his little brother in a terrible accident. He was heartbroken, and so was everyone else who knew the little boy. Ever since that time, Bill has had to attend therapy. Of course, all of his friends were extremely caring and supportive over this, but Stan has been there for him the most. It was a really hard time for the Losers. And then, on top of all that they had to go through, Bill’s parents decided to get a divorce. His mom went back to Korea, unable to live through the loss, sick and tired of their death-stained house and her passive-aggressive husband. From then on, Bill lived just with his dad and his mom was to come back during the summer break and take him on a road trip or something. But in winter he is the one to visit her in her home country. For 2 months.

Although Stan was glad Bill got to spend time with just his mom (because his dad was kind of an asshole), he couldn’t help but feel angry at this entire situation. Of course, South Korea is a perfect place to spend winter but Stan wasn’t good at handling his absence. It hasn’t even been a day since he left, but he already missed his friend. He missed him so much.

“Ugh, I miss Bill so much,” he said one day during a break, when he and Richie were hanging out in the latter’s room. It was a dull, cold day that they spent inside playing videogames and eating comfort food Mrs. Tozier made.

“Thanks for letting me know, buddy,” Richie snarked, “I was completely unaware.”

Stan only sighed in response. Richie put his phone away and changed his position on the bed, so that he was half hanging from it near Stan.

“Dude,” he addressed his friend, “Don’t you think you’ve got a problem?”

“Since when is my depression a problem to you?” Uris huffed sarcastically.

“You know what I’m talking about.”

“Oh, c’mon, Richie. It’s not  like you don’t miss him too.”

“I do, but I, for one, don’t talk about it all the time ever since he left and don’t bring it up when I’m with my actual best friend.”

Stan knew Richie wasn’t judging him, but he felt kind of ashamed anyway. He blushed and lowered his head.

“I’m sorry. Do I really talk about it so much?”

“Yeah, man, it’s like every 15 minutes.” Tozier ruffled his friend’s hair softly and put his head on Stan’s shoulder. “Stanley. Are you sure you are okay?”

The boy leaned back and sighed:

“I don’t know. It’s just… So unusual to not have him here, you know? I can’t stop thinking about him now, you know what I mean?”

“I think I do, but, uhh… It kinda sounds like you’re gay for him but whatever. I mean, seriously, I get it, you guys have been so close ever since Georgie, but how it affects you makes me question your relationship.”

“Pfft, haven’t we all been there with Bill though?” Stan said, trying hard to sound light-hearted, but inside he was starting to feel anxious. Deep down he, firstly, felt extremely guilty for not paying enough attention to his best friend; secondly, he knew, Richie was right. He has had some deep feelings for Bill for a while now, far beyond friendship, but he passed it off as being too close after his trauma. He didn’t think he was ready to accept this depth yet.

Richie sighed.

“Stan. You really need to give it a thought. I know, Bill is the dream man for more then half of us Losers, but you need to sort it out for yourself. I promise, no one is gonna judge you.” He was now stroking Stan’s hair affectionately.

“I’ve never had anything like this happen before. I don’t remember having feelings for guys before, and Bill is not just a guy, he is… Bill. You get me?”

Richie smiled faintly and gave his poor frustrated best friend a kiss on top of his head.

“But you’ve never been interested in girls either, have you, Staniel?”

Uris stared at Richie’s stained green Ikea carpet. His friend was right and he knew it, because he has probably been through the same stuff before him and Eddie started dating, because Eddie was his first boy crush too. He should really think this through.

“Okay, but if it’s true…” Stan felt his face reddening, “If I really like him that way. I don’t think I’ll be able to tell him. I mean, isn’t he, like, the straightest person here?”

Richie laughed dramatically, throwing his head back.

“No fucking way, bro. Like you don’t know he had a thing for Eds in middle school.”

Stan didn’t know.

_“He what?!”_

Several days later Stan, Richie and Eddie were all hanging out, and Kaspbrak was delighted to re-tell the story in question. One time, in 7th grade or something, Bill witnessed Eddie fist-fight some high school jerk. It was a draw in the end, and though Eddie came out with an injured wrist and covered in bruises, he was this close to beating the guy into fucking pulp, despite being as tiny as he was then. Bill was completely amazed; he couldn’t leave him alone for for weeks after, which frustrated Eddie endlessly – ironically, Bill was his first boy crush. When they finally sorted it out, turned out Bill was head over heels for him, which made usually grumpy Eddie happy for the next few months when they were dating. They kinda grew out of it later, but it was a nice time to remember.

Stanley couldn’t believe his ears. The story sounded kinda bizarre, but he never doubted it was true. What was more important, it made him realize things: throughout the story, he couldn’t help but wish it had happened to him. He thought about how it would feel like, to have Bill Denbrough fall for you. Must be fucking sweet. He thought, what if he likes him that way already? Stan wished nothing more in that moment than for it to be true. Later that day, he told his friends about his thoughts and thanked them for the support. It all made sense now.

The following months were, as expected, a fucking torture. Stan, despite being a quite religious jewish boy, did not feel ashamed for liking another boy. It’s just, the feelings hit him so hard he couldn’t think about anything else. He also realized, it wasn’t just a crush: he was full-on in love. And there were still weeks until Bill comes home. Of course, they texted each other every day, talked through Skype, but it wasn’t the same. Stan wanted to be with him, to sit close as they talked, watch his face; he missed the way his smile curved sideways slightly and how his lips trembled when he stuttered. Stanley just wanted to see him in person again, and he couldn’t wait until this long winter ends.

The break has ended, but Stan’s depressive episode has not. Though he was exited to go to school again, to have an organized timetable, see his friends more, it was still there. He also was anxious about everyone’s reactions: he still had to come out to the Losers. Needless to say, the first lunch they had together was bound to be awkward. Turned out, it wasn’t scary at all though, especially with mike: the boy was like a Care Bear full of support. Ben, too – he was totally happy for Stan about coming to terms with himself. Uris was still kinda nervous about Beverly, though (he found her intimidating), but after running into her and greeting her with “hi, gay to see you” it was all settled.

The days were going by one by one, like long, boring school classes. Stan didn’t talk so much about missing Bill anymore, but you could see it in his eyes. The snow hasn’t melted, still, and the world looked black and white to him both metaphorically and literally. He didn’t have to mention his feelings anymore, because he knew where they were coming from, and so did everyone else. Although, he started missing the boy even more in the past month: they texted each other all the time, sometimes unable to get off snapchat for hours. He scrolled through Bill’s instagram, just looking at him and admiring. Stan always thought he was beautiful. Denbrough now posted pretty selfies and aesthetically pleasing pictures from his mother’s hometown and places they have been. They were nice, but as much as Stan loved all of it, they weren’t nearly enough to make him forget how far away his friend was.

At the end of February, Bill called Stanley on skype. It was kinda late at night, but the latter couldn’t care less about it. As soon as Bill’s face appeared on the screen and he waved sheepishly at his friend, Uris couldn’t contain his own wide grin.

“Hey, Stanley! H-how you doing?”

“I’m good, kinda bored though. You?”

“I’m great! Actually, y-you gotta hear this: I’m finally g-g-going home this Monday! Insane, r-right?”

Stan’s heart tripped on its own beat. It took him a minute to process what Bill has just said, and still, he couldn’t believe it was actually happening.

“What, this Monday already? Weren’t you supposed to stay until, like, mid-march?”

“I know right? I asked mom to b-bring me back sooner and s-s-stay longer in summer. W-why, don’t you want me b-back?” Bill laughed a bit, and Stan smirked back at him.

“Nah, dude. You know we fucking miss you over here. Will you be bringing your cool ass asian snacks you’ve been talking about?”

“I knew you only l-l-loved me for the candy!” He gasped dramatically, bursting into laughter. “I fucking miss you too. All of you.”

Did Bill just blush or was Stan that sleep-deprived?

“Anyway, mom t-took me to a show this weekend. Y-you know, those b-b-big shows with, like, boy bands and stuff?”

“Oh, like k-pop? Idol shows?”

“Yeah. So, m-my mom likes those a lot, so w-we went to see Bangtan Boys. That’s a p-popular band.”

“Hmm. How did you like it?” Stan hummed amusedly. Boy bands were rather Ben’s thing (he might’ve been seen wearing k-pop merch at school, too); if Bill got into it too… Stan thought, it would be kind of cute.

“I think they are cool. N-not like they’re g-gonna be my entire playlist now, b-but a couple songs were s-straigh up fire, you know. Anyway, uh, I f-found a good English t-t-translation for one of them. It, uh, r-reminded me of you. In a way. Y-you’ll see.”

Bill seemed nervous now, his stutter becoming more obvious, his face evidently blushing. But Stan’s mind was going haywire already. Was this what Richie called “gay panic”? Because he was certainly both very gay and internally panicking right now. He smiled shyly at his flustered friend, who did the same.

“I’m going to p-p-play it on m-my guitar. F-for you. If y-you don’t m-m-mind.”

If the afterlife existed, Stanley might as well has entered it already by that point. This couldn’t be real. Since when did Bill Denbrough play guitar for him exclusively anyway, let alone ask if he didn’t mind? Also, doesn’t it take at least a week to learn how to play a song decently?

“…Okay, but isn’t it, like, super hard to learn songs like those?”

“I w-wouldn’t say so, the chords are p-pretty easy. I’m already, like, h-halfway done. You’re g-g-gonna have to excuse my b-bad singing, though.”

The boys smiled at each other. Stan was beyond confused, and something inside him started to bloom that night. Some thought, a realization floating around his head, yet he was unable to put a finger on it. Not yet. Must have been because he was feeling so happy.

They made a promise to meet after class on Monday, because it was a school day for Stan and Bill needed some rest after the flight. Just before they said their goodbyes in that skype call, Uris mentioned, that he will have to talk to Bill about something. That’s right, he decided to tell him about his feelings. Of course, he felt anxious as hell, but firstly, he didn’t think he could hide them any more, considering that it was obvious enough even for an idiot like Richie; secondly, he felt like it would be unfair to Bill himself. They were such close friends for a reason, and being that close required trust. Stanley only had to wait a couple more days.

Monday was, coincidentally, March 1st. As soon as school was over, Stan straight up bolted to the Denbrough house: he was so exited that morning, he forgot to take his bike out before his dad locked the garage. So, now he had to run for his life, which he did right then, not even looking around him. Right as the boy was crossing the Denbroughs’ front yard, he bumped hard into someone and was immediately pulled in a bear hug. Bill’s bear hug.

“Hey, I’m r-right here, slow down. Didn’t you see me?” He asked, grinning ear to ear. Stan only held onto him tighter. He was almost ready to cry right then and there.

“Sorry. Was busy running like crazy.” He panted, squeezing the boy in his arms once more and then letting go.

“You wanna c-come in?” Bill asked, smiling fondly and ruffling his friend’s hair a bit.

“Sure.” He nodded, also smiling. They got inside, Bill asked if he wanted to eat lunch with him, but Stanley wasn’t in the mood. He was starting to feel lightheaded and, for that matter, thirsty, not hungry. He remembered that he will have to confess today, and suddenly it was causing him extra anxiety. Something was in the air, and Stan was anticipating to find out what exactly. They went up to Bill’s room, settled on the floor; the boy took his guitar from where it was lying along with all his bags.

“O-okay, so, are you r-r-ready now?”

Stanley sat down closer to him and nodded, looking at Bill’s face attentively. The boy tried a couple strings to check and tune them, and then… He started singing. 

_“I’m missing you_   
_When I say that I miss you more_   
_I’m missing you…”_

Stan listened carefully, watching Bill’s fingers run over the strings, watching his face. The boy was blushing, his voice trembled slightly at times, but Stan didn’t mind. He has never been more enchanted by anything in his life. The song was about missing your best friend or lover (it wasn’t clarified), and for Stan it was both. It was also about waiting for the winter to end, so one could meet the person they’re missing. That hit him right where it hurts: he hated winter. It was dark, cold and grey, so boring and sad. Everything was dead around him, and his depression always intensified in winter. Missing Bill this time only made it worse. But Bill was here now. His Bill, whom he comforted through his hard times, who was always there for Stan in his own troubles. Here he was, singing to him on the first day of spring; and it only made the song painfully relatable. Stan felt hot all of a sudden, his eyes watering.

_“…After the long winter ends,_   
_Until spring decides to come again,_   
_Until flowers they bloom again,_   
_Just stay where you are and wait for me,_   
_Please wait for me.”_

The song was over, Bill put his guitar down and fixed his hair awkwardly.

“So, how was it? I-it’s called Spring D-day, by the way…”

Stan didn’t answer, so Denbrough looked up at him and saw the boy staring at his own knees, on the verge of tears. He scooted closer to Stan and put a hand on his shoulder.

“H-hey. What’s wrong?”

Stanley sighed and sniffed in response. He looked up at his friend and bit his lip, then also moved closer and took Bill’s hand off his shoulder, holding it in his instead.

“Nothing, really. I just… I really fucking missed you, Bill.” He squeezed his hand a bit, while Bill used his other to wipe a stray tear off the boy’s face. Stan leaned into his touch slightly.

“Well I’m here now,” Bill smiled, looking him in the eye and leaning even closer to his face subconsciously. Stan looked up again, met his eyes and felt his face heating up even more.

“Yes. You are.” Stanley whispered to him, unable to speak out loud normally. The moment seemed so fragile, so sincere; he wanted to see what comes next, but also never wanted it to end. But most of all, he wanted Bill to kiss him. He would never do it himself without asking and asking was scary, but he hoped with all his being that, if Bill wants it, he can see it in Stan’s eyes how much he wants it too. Right now though, he was content just enjoying their proximity. Denbrough looked down at his lips, then into his eyes again.

“Can I…?” He whispered, barely audible, but Stan heard. Inside his head, his entire mind was going off with screams and sirens, but he couldn’t hear them.

“Please.”

And Bill kissed him. It felt like he has been waiting for ages to do this, patiently, like flower seeds under the snow. But the snow was all gone now, and the boys were blooming. Both blushing, breathing unevenly, like they just got off their bikes after a long ride. Smiling like little kids who are taken to a fair for the first time in their lives. They have barely pulled away from each other when Stan crushed Bill in a hug, hiding his burning face in the crook of the boy’s neck.

“This is, like, literally what I wanted to talk about.” He felt the other boy nod, stroking his back absentmindedly.

“Firstly, I’m gay.” Another nod and a soft hum from Bill. “Secondly, I’m in love with you.”

“Thank god, I-I thought I was just bi and s-stupid. I love you too.”

Bill held him closer and sighed in relief. Stan couldn’t believe his ears.

“Okay, I might actually have a heart attack right now.”

“Please don’t.”

“Okay.”

They went quiet for a moment, and then burst out laughing uncontrollably. Stan was so happy; it wasn’t like The Best Day of his life, but if he was being fair, it was up there. Along with trying the black salted caramel flavored ice cream for the first time. And getting a badge for bird watching as a boy scout in 5th grade. He was so happy to see Bill smiling wide, to hear him laugh for real and being the reason for that, being in his arms. He couldn’t be more in love than he was at that moment.

“So, like, d-do you wanna go to the m-movies this weekend? J-just the two of us,” Bill asked, pulling slightly away from their embrace. He still was blushing and grinning brightly. Stanley took his hand again.

“Like a date?”  
  
“Obviously.”

“Hell yes.”

When Stan woke up the next morning, all the snow they had left has melted. The winter was finally over.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I'm not dead (surprisingly). I'm working at like 128761786 things at the same time so hope you enjoy this bullshit. Heavily based on my own feelings towards winter (which in russia lasts for roughly at least 5 months). PLEASE, comment and let me know if i'm good at this. I wanna know if my english writing classes are doing me any good. LOVE YALL, STAY COOL!  
> p.s.: shenanigans of a bisexual ch.3 coming really soon and i hope it gets faster from there.


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